A few years ago, a movie came out called ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. It relays a message to its primarily female viewers that they are not the exception, they are the rule. If you have not watched the movie or need a refresher, this means that when a man is treating you a certain way, he is not going to change. For example, if a man has made it clear that he does not want to get married, believe him. He is not going to wake up one day and suddenly realize that he wants to spend his life with you in holy matrimony. If a guy is visibly into other girls and you feel like you’re on the back burner, he is not going to turn around one day and see you in all your glory and beauty.
Why is this resonating with me all over again? Dating apps and hookup culture have changed the way we communicate with each other. It allows people to be vague in their intentions and loose with their actions. Well if you met him on Tinder, it couldn’t possibly be serious, right? Well that is exactly what he is thinking too. Courtship has changed immensely. It’s gone from asking someone to go steady with you to sending a NSFW snapchat.
Bringing it back to ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’, I have seen too many of my friends constantly wondering what a guy behind a cell phone screen is thinking or doing. Believe me, if he is not texting you, he is not thinking about texting you. Yes, it may seem like 90% of the people on these apps are constantly looking for someone better. You are not the exception that is going to change their actions. No matter how hard it is you need to recognize when you are undervalued and move on. Simply put, he is just that into you.
How does this kick in the gut help you? Throw away your pride. Every time you feel like a guy doesn’t like you enough, move on. Although this will be difficult in the beginning, it will save you a lot of time and heartache in the long run. Focus your time and effort on that attractive trainer at the gym or that slightly nerdy guy blowing up your DMs. Pay attention to someone who is putting you first.